I Wish I Had A “Filter”

I wish I had a filter between my brain and my mouth. Something that would tell me when to just stop talking and SHUT UP!, but I don’t. I never have, and probably never will, but I try anyways.

Whenever a thought comes into my mind, I don’t even think about whether or not I should say it. I don’t think about the consequences of saying it. I don’t think about whether or not its correct. And I certainly don’t think about whether or not the person I’m talking to will think I’m an idot (they do most of the time).

Like when I have seen someone before but never really said “hi” to. I see their face almost everyday and one day I try to strike up a conversation with them. And since I don’t have a “filter”, it comes out that I know what they do and where they go when and whenever I phrase it it sounds so creepy and stalker-like. I try to tell them that I’m not creepy or a stalker but it never works! They always give me this look like I’m crazy! The conversation never goes well from there.

brain-filterAnother thing with having no filter is that I have a difficult time figuring out how to phrase things. These thoughts pop into my head and and I just say them. I don’t thinkabout how to say them, I just do. And it comes out so badly most of the time. Most of the time I spend more time trying to fix my mistake than actually stating the sentence. The sentence comes out as an insult even though I don’t mean it to be. I them try to fix it but the damage has already been done. Or I say something and it sounds like I a creeper, but I dont mean to sound that way!

The other problem with not having a filter is not knowing when to stop talking. I don’t normally realize fast enough that my point has already been made and there is no need to keep talking. So I talk, and talk, and talk without relaizing that nobody wants to listen. In the novel, Oedipus, by Sophocles, Oedipus’ son Polyneices doesn’t know when to stop talking to his father and just ends up rambling without affecting Odeipus in any way because Polyneices didn’t have a point in his speech. Sometimes that feels like me

My advice to you is to just stay quiet. Just don’t talk until all of the words that you plan to say have been formed and repeated to yourself at least once. Make sure that all meanings that can be taken from it, you know before you say it. Make sure that you don’t keep talking even when its obvious that you’re supposed to be done. But that is just my advice from my experience, so you can listen or you don’t have to.

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